Today I was in the recovery room, and an activity the management had for 'team building' was up on the bulletin board. There were little pumpkins, one for each team member, in orange foam plastic about six inches tall, like you might see in a classroom, tacked up on a bulletin board over --of all places--the crash cart that is used in code blue situations. On each pumpkin was written in permanent ink, what each worker was thankful for, and their name.
The first one that caught my eye was Proceso's, (Proh-sess-oh) who said, 'I am thankful for all'. Proceso is the orderly. He cleans all the workstations in recovery room in the morning, the brings all the inpatients downstairs. He even shaves people before surgery if they need to be shaved.
I feel the energy signatures. His rang true. I saw the others, and I was deeply moved at how gratitude really raises the vibration. When it's from the heart, nothing pleases the Divine more than pure, wholesome, and honest, gratitude.
I had to go and do other things, I would have liked to taken a photo. But I made a mental note to come back.
When I did, I actually read the words on the rest.
The supervisor's rang true--for my family, my work, and my cat. You know that cat gives her--a single mom--emotional support. This is the nurse who works almost every weekend to support her two college age kids, and has done so for years. She's an excellent nurse.
Others were 'for my family' (the one who recovered from a stroke in her twenties)...and many were saying what they thought management wanted to hear--'for my friends, my coworkers, and my job'.
One--and the reason I am writing this--said, 'I am thankful for X and Y and Z and for my country which is free.'
I couldn't remember the X and Y and Z.
But the last part stuck with me.
It moved me with deep, very deep compassion.
I will return to this point in a little bit.
Tonight I was waiting for Anthony to brush his teeth. I was standing in the hall, and I saw Jessica's photo in her cheerleader uniform.
Jessica is the one 'patient who touches your life forever', for me.
I realized Anthony was the age now that Jessica was when she got sick. I remarked to myself how quickly time flies.
I see Jessica's smiling face in her uniform, with her hat to cover her bald head, every day I wake up and step out of my room.
It was a total accident how I got to know her. In my residency, as a first year, I was given a chance to do an advanced case, a thoracotomy. You use a special breathing tube that's hard to put in. But the third year resident stole the case from me. You need a certain number of index cases to graduate, and his numbers were low. Since I was on call, I had to go do the neurosurgery case which would take all night.
It wasn't her fault or the family's fault I couldn't do the thoracic case.
I regained my composure and met them in pre-op.
She wanted to go to the bathroom. I said, 'sure, no problem' and her mom and nurse took her down the hall with her i.v. to go. She refused to use the bedpan.
I explained to her father it's important for a patient to feel a sense of control, that's why I let her go.
She had been on seizure meds, but was terrified of surgery. She had been to Children's Hospital in L.A., and they don't sedate people unless they are like, four. She had to walk down the hall, awake, to her O.R. She was traumatized by the experience. That's why they left there for our hospital.
She took a lot of versed to be sedated before her surgery. Like, eight milligrams (standard dose is two milligrams, but on seizure med it takes more sometimes, especially if the patient is nervous). I waited for her to slur her words.
We took her back.
It was the saddest story you ever heard in your life. She was shampooing her hair and felt a growth.
They went to the dermatologist, and it was poorly differentiated cancer.
Studies showed it was the cancer coming from the brain up through the skull and the scalp.
Half of her brain was eaten by tumor, a whole hemisphere. I forget which side, right or left.
Her neurosurgeon was fascinated, an Italian, Dr. Ammirati. He kept asking her, 'do you walk into walls?'
She spoke with me, indignant, that he could imply such a thing! She was a total Southern Californian, through and through! She was a cheerleader.
The tumor came out, and the skull with it.
They removed the healthy skull from the healthy side, and covered the hole. I'm not sure if the scalp went with it. I don't think so. The exposed brain was covered with a plastic or frozen bone substitute. One side had skin grafts...It's hard to explain because a plastic surgeon, Dr. Salibian, was the only one who answered his phone in the middle of the night. He came, and he reconstructed her head for her, so the bone would grow and the fake bone wouldn't get infected. He did some kind of twisting of the scalp and a skin graft.
Her beautiful long Asian hair was gone on one side, and the other side looked like a shaved Sharpei, super wrinkly.
I watched Jessica like a hawk in the ICU, visiting every day, and making a point to the nurses not to let her see herself in a mirror unless she was emotionally prepared and had support. Her dressings covered everything. Just make sure she knows what to expect.
The family appreciated my care, both for making her comfortable and unafraid, and for my dedication to her.
It turned out the brain, as massive as the tumor was, wasn't the primary source of the cancer.
It was the kidney.
Later the kidney was removed, as well as some ribs which had metastases. I was called in for every surgery and the PET scans to provide sedation.
We got to be friends, and we bonded over the beanie babies toys. I would always stop by to visit when she was in the hospital for any reason, not just surgery. I got to know her parents, Janie and Sam. Wonderful people. They were totally there for their daughter with pure love, to the end.
Jessica died at fourteen.
Her mom went to Divinity school and became the chaplain at CHLA.
We are FB friends. I saw a photo of her and Sam the other day. It made me smile.
We live in a world where tragedy like this HAPPENS, every single day...mind-numbing pain and loss...of every type imaginable--health, romance, financial...disaster is always ready to rear its ugly head...
Even Kerth Barker, the survivor of MK Ultra/Monarch, SRA, had his 'happiest memory' be a lie. It was an implanted memory to cover the first episode of the mind control. He thought he had taken a fun day at the zoo with his nanny. It was one of his favorite memories from his childhood, or so he thought. However, it turns out his oldest sister had been to the zoo all day with her boyfriend that same day and had never seen him. But the nanny had told him the story over and over until he eventually believed it.
It wasn't until he was in therapy, Fabian therapy, that when he was asked to describe the smell of the happy memory at the zoo, he recalled the true smell of cat intestines from a ritual, where a cat was tortured and killed in front of him. With the right support, he was able to heal, and recover his lost memories. For ALL of the painful, humiliating experiences of abuse.
What Kerth says is that for people who perpetuate the SRA, they can't face the pain of being the victim. It's so painful to them, that they identify with their perpetrators. Then they go on to become perpetrators just like the ones who abused them, because it's less painful an option than to heal.
For the record, this symbol above is horrifying. It is NOT okay. The covering of the eye is a hidden meaning. And the 'okay' sign has a different meaning to people who do SRA.
Look for the hidden numbers. There are three identical ones, backwards, in this image below:
This symbol is everywhere--you'd be amazed how many places you can look and find it. It's not an accident it's put where it is...hidden in plain sight...
Which brings me to another story.
On Saturday--Friday night too--I couldn't figure out what to do with myself. I felt aimless, lost.
I get this feeling whenever someone close to me is dying/crossing over. Only I wasn't sure if it was my mom, or who? I didn't know.
I found out today.
Ross explained this is how the person wanted me to find out, at the lunch table at work. I haven't been assigned to the Main O.R. in a month. But today, I was, and I had a huge gap.
It was David. David who asked me to do his anesthesia, long before he ever confirmed he was going for surgery. David who ran all the purchasing for the O.R. and was very well-respected by everyone.
I've done anesthesia for him for five procedures for his terrible back pain, all at his request. I came in on my day off for his MRI.
I was very sad to hear it, because I had seen him take his first steps after his first surgery and he didn't have any pain. It was a miracle! I shared the video with his surgeon. It meant so much to us both, as David's physicians, to have a success.
I knew David was having trouble with the sick leave/disability income from work. It was going to run out if he didn't get back to work soon. He told me this.
I knew he lived by himself.
I knew he had lost fifty pounds not eating right between his next-to-last surgery and his MRI. In fact, his potassium had been dangerously low, almost enough to cancel the MRI, but I did the sedation for it, and I made sure it was corrected and followed up. He had no idea it was that low.
But his diet wasn't good. With the pain he couldn't cook. He told me. There was a nurse with him, I knew her, I thought she was his girlfriend or something, she seemed close, so by the second surgery I figured she'd help him.
His brother calls him once a week. I've met him at the bedside in pre-op. And he said if David didn't pick up he would come to the house to check on him.
He had been down a few days. Friday was the last anyone had heard him--the brother spoke with him. This is what management said.
Apparently he was non-ambulatory (couldn't walk) after the surgery.
I had wondered what had been up? As I was driving to my sister's house to pick up my son, who had spent the day with the cousins, David chose to speak to me from the other side.
We spoke. I only recall three things now, though.
He told me, 'I always pick the BEST!'--about me, and his healthcare. He saw how many close calls it had been with him under anesthesia, especially the potassium part, and I was a stickler about it every time. He continued his pride in me as his doctor, even in the afterlife. It made me feel good.
He also said in life he had wondered why someone like me didn't have a boyfriend, it seemed odd, as I was a 'quality woman' and I shouldn't be alone...but 'now he understood' (Ross). He was happy to be informed of the whole thing.
The last thing was he wanted me to know he was okay, he feels fine, there's nothing to worry about, and he asked me to have a glass of red wine for him tonight. (Which I will, after I write. I will toast to David).
In the O.R. break room people were crying openly, like it was the end of the world, over David's death.
One woman sitting to my immediate left had scrubbed in on his surgeries, all of them I think, and had said it was technically GOOD results. She couldn't understand it. And she was crying because her mom had died suddenly of cancer earlier this year. (I had actually suggested Reiki to improve the relaxation of cancer patients, and she had snapped at me over it--wanting real treatments--I had meant it in combination...but also, intuitively, I knew her mom wasn't long for this world. )
Our management was careful when to let the news out to the staff. People who worked with David were openly crying. We were told when the funeral arrangements would be. And that there would be an autopsy.
He was well loved, and is missed.
Part of me wondered how blind people could have been to how sick he was, and how it was more than the back--possible sleep apnea, depression from the severe pain, the potassium--so many things that David had one foot in this world and one in the other most of the time I worked with him?!
Everything is filtered through one's perception--which is in part influenced by the life experiences (such as the recent death of the mom), the Consciousness (soul wisdom and awareness), and the degree to which one protects one's self to avoid looking at the painful things which are a part of life we can't understand...
This brings us back to the first part--the gratitude for the land in which we are free...
Earlier today I had seen a YouTube video by A Call For An Uprising 2--on the Baphomet (I call it 'the icicle'--why icicle and not something else, I'm not sure, but I do--to take away the fear/power it has over me as a non SRA person)...And the guy on the YouTube channel says, 'How blatant can this get? it's so in your face! How can anyone NOT see it?!'
By 'it' he means the things like the 666 hidden in the 'okay' sign...the secret societies...the SRA (satanic ritual abuse)...the dumbing down of our world population...the false flags...the mandatory vaccinations...the many losses of 'freedoms' while claiming to 'protect them'...
I understand that people want to believe the 'happy lies' which are implanted into them, as they are the kinder alternative to the Truth. The News wants to inform me. There is no way it could be propaganda and psychological operatives controlled by the CIA. The Germans lost the war. There is no way Operation Paperclip could have helped the leaders of the war continue their actions here in the U.S. behind the scenes with new identities. Sports are great and nowhere near as brutal as feeding the Christians to the Lions in Roman times, we aren't barbaric like that any more. Vaccines work and if they didn't they wouldn't be making me give them to my children! I had them and I was okay. Who cares if Big Pharma has a 'get out of jail for free' card from the government and makes tons of money from immunizations?
So let them sleep.
Those who are under the spell of 'everything is okay' are going to awaken at some point. It's inevitable.
There's no need to rush it.
Instead, hold compassion in your heart for the ones who keep hitting the 'snooze' button, and for you with your eyes open, enjoy the show.
Nurturing, warmth, love and true compassion--WINS!
Only these qualities are compatible with the ever increasing vibration of the Human and Planetary Consciousness.
I have one last story. It's from the woman who cuts Anthony's hair. She has a brother back in Iran who is Anthony's age and looks like him. I asked about him.
He's actually her stepbrother.
Tina's mom is here. And Tina explained was filling out forms to bring her brother here, he wants to come. But it's difficult.
I asked why is it difficult?
It's easier for a child to bring a parent, than a sister to bring a brother, and then later a parent has a better chance to bring a child.
So she has to bring her father here, and then HE can ask for his son.
But what about the stepmother? I asked.
She said, 'we don't like her, we don't want her to come'.
I laughed very hard, and asked, 'why?!'
The stepmother beats everyone, with her hands and with anything she can use as a weapon--Tina, her brother, and her father all have been victims of her abuse. Even in the street in front of the neighbors and in public like at the market. Her brother is the one who is begging his sister to free him from the torment of his own mom!
One day it will be the same with Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart.
'we don't like them'.
'we want to live in a world where everyone is safe, nurtured treated with kindness, warmth, love and compassion'.
There are very happy times, just around the corner. (he gestures with his finger around a corner--ed).
Everything happens for the best.
Why is there sadness, and sorrow?
Why did I have to die, so many times, in all of our incarnations where I was swept from my beloved Carla's arms, much to her dismay? (he leans forward, intently--ed)
THAT is a rhetorical question!
The reason there is sorrow is ...a lesson...that got out of hand.
The lesson is learned. I'd say for most of us. And for those who are not quite ready, arrangements are being made for the lessons to continue--off planet--in a Realm called Pan.
Nobody will know the difference--holograms are being held in both worlds to support the continuity of the storylines for the next generation.
But what world are you? (he leans on his elbows like on a low wall or a kitchen counter--ed)
What world are you?
You're talking to me, aren't you?
And do I openly talk to people in the Lower Realms? No, not particularly. For although I am there, and although I am speaking to them the same as I am to you, through my wife Carla and her typing--the difference between you and them is that you (points to his ears with both index fingers on either side of his head--ed) are LISTENING!
(he had a song today, I'll get it for you --ed)
Aloha and Mahalos,
Ross and Carla
The Reiki Doc Couple
P.S. Here is one from Carla for you, if you are interested, and it's not for 'extra credit' --she just like it a lot today.